Pet Peeve #2/3?

Knowledge is not knowing. Put the book down and listen.

First off, there is nothing wrong with being book smart, learning new skills, or anything of the kind. What's wrong, is assuming you know shit about the world, people, or deeper thought because you could out math me, out grammar me, or any number of things I chose not to sit down and devote loads of time to. Just because you acquire new tidbits of general information doesn't mean you are suddenly filled with all the knowledge of the world. There is, in fact, a difference between being smart and being understanding or possessing the capability to look beyond the surface of things. I could learn all the different forms for writing poetry, I could read a book about understanding poetry. That doesn't mean that I am going to be able to sit down and understand it. Now I know with poetry, as with many art forms, that it's really open to interpretation in the end. The point is that, knowing the book taught way to understand poetry doesn't mean that you are capable of sitting down and understanding it through your own abilities. If you can't sit down and feel the poem or understand it on an emotional level, well, frankly, you don't understand the poem, you devalue it's purpose.

Having knowledge does not mean that you are capable of deeper thought, sadly not everyone realizes this. I have been in multiple fights in my life trying to explain something only to be treated like I was the idiot, even though I have first hand experience with some of the subjects I am being told I am wrong about. There is more to the world than what is taught in a classroom or from word of mouth. You can learn the surface, you can learn the general facts, the stereotypes, but pulling actual knowledge out of something is when you try to understand it on a deeper level. When you live it. Interact with it. But most of all, know that you will never know anything completely about it. When you insist that you are right without consideration or thought to anyone else's experiences or views is when you get arrogance, not smarts. You've lost already, your mind is too limited.

"I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count change and cross roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't."

Via Dylan Thomas (Stolen from Batman)

Pet Peeve #1

Thanks for telling me what I was thinking, without you, I wouldn't know.

Finally a top pet peeve! This may or may not be my biggest pet peeve, but by golly it is second if not first. It's impossible to truly express how much shear rage in me this one causes. I haven't punched someone yet over it, but you can bet I was a hair width away from it. I can't even tell you how many times someone thinks they know what I'm thinking, or finds some god damn hidden message in something I say or do that I didn't even know about. Like in the P.S. I Love you movie when Gerard Butler's character says to Hilary Swank's character: "You mean the conversation thing. The one we're having and the one you think we're having." The reason this is so frustrating? Because half the time people really do see what they want to see and are very quick to think the worst of you, can't blame them too much, I mean they don't know what you're thinking so it's easier to create something up for themselves. I know I do it from time to time, but I recognize it and try to quit it. At least I don't run around telling people what they are thinking, because in reality, and I hate to admit this, I sadly do not have telepathy. I know you're heartbroken, I am too, I so wanted that ability. But my sadness over that fact aside, it is really frustrating to be asked a question, answer it, and then have the other person proceed to continue believing what they made up in their heads to cause them to ask the damn question in the first place! Am I being confusing? I'll use an example: So recently there was this rumor mill going down in my life that I said some things on the internet that were real nasty towards a specific person. I wasn't even asked if it was true or not, I was just told that was what I was doing. Go figure. Anyway, when asked if that was how I really thought about this certain person, I said 'no'. And I meant it, but I was met with sarcasm and that person continuing to think that I honestly thought negatively like that towards them even though I don't, and even though I said I don't. Or how about the amount of people that think I write these general blog posts entirely about them, choosing to ignore the message mind you, they ask me, I say no, and they continue to be defensive like secretly I am still thinking that about them. I know a lot of people would rather think the worst of me, but how about doing it for some facts rather than what cockamamie scheme you've cooked up about my person. I know I have done my fare share of actual less than nice things to pick at.

I am going to torture some more hypothetical characters here, in a ridiculous fashion mind you. So Bill, thinks that Mary doesn't care about anything or anyone because she simply stated she doesn't care about the news. He later spans this to think that if he died she wouldn't care. Seems extreme? Well, that is in fact how it works. Mary tells Bill she does care, but now that Bill decided to work himself up into a tiff that thought will always be there whether it's true or not. Flip side: Mary thinks Bill is being an idiot, however, perhaps Bill suffers from emotional trauma brought on by his father once trying to kill him and telling him no one would care if he disappeared, so now he thinks it's true and takes it to extremes Mary will never understand because she has never had that happen to her, sure she has her own issues but because her daddy never did something like that to her she isn't going to understand why Bill would think that of her. This may be more in poor Mary's sympathy court, but the point is that no one can read the others mind to know any different, nor live the others life to understand better the situation that would lead someone to think a certain way.

The human mind is far more complex than it's given credit for. There are a lot of thoughts and experiences behind what we do and how we cope as people that you will never begin to touch the surface of. Ever. Hell, there are subconscious reasons people do things that not even they are aware of! How much of an arrogant all-knowing delusion do you have to think you know? Why don't we all just walk around have you tell us what we said, what we did, and what we are thinking? Everything would be so much more easily understood if we were like the borg and all thought the same way and along the same lines. But we don't. We wouldn't be individuals if that was the case. You wont know nor understand a persons thoughts unless you lived their life and their experiences. And I've personally had it up to the ceiling of the Burj Dubai of trying to get people to understand. Realization: They wont but they will whole heartedly think they do.

Unless you are telepathic, stop thinking you have a clue what really goes on in someone's head, if you are telepathic, stop raping our brains... Xavier...

"Leave All Your Love And Your Longing Behind... If You Want To Survive.

My Rule Of Driving:

I am just as responsible as the next person for bouts of road rage. I have never gotten on my seat and jumped up and down while driving, but I have swore and said a number of unpleasant things that the other drivers I am yelling at will probably never hear, but if they look in the rear view I am positive they get the idea.

At any rate. My rule: Don't tailgate someone that is going either the speed limit or is already speeding. Stop getting pissed that someone doesn't want to get pulled over by the cops and possibly pay a lot of money because you think where ever you need to be is more important. I try not to tailgate in general for the simple fact that if there is an accident ahead or who I am tailgating stops suddenly, I don't want to also be in an accident. I stay even further back in the winter because of road conditions. In the winter, you tailgate me I will pull over for you for the simple fact that I don't want your douche ass rammed into my trunk. However, you tailgate me during good road conditions while I am going the speed limit or five above, I will go five below. I was late recently to meet my sister because of some guy who was so far up my ass I lost his headlights when I was going five above. I slowed my ass down to five below, a whopping crawl of thirty-five.

Pet Peeve #7: UPDATED

Excuse me, I don't recall that being your business.

So much to cover here, so little... nah, I have the space and I can find the time. Haven't shared a pet peeve in awhile, not for lack of having them though, trust me on that one. You ever have a bit of information involving your life, and someone else thinks it should be their information? I get this a lot. I like to call them vultures, oddly enough this is also what I called all the students that would circle around the fights in high school...

Detour: If you don't know how to fight, don't fight. I only saw two fights in passing where someone actually pulled a punch and didn't start pulling hair or lashing out wildly like they were trying to impersonate one of those lawn ornaments that would run or swing their arms when the wind blew.

Anyway, back on topic. If it is information you are supposed to know or is relevant to you, then someone will tell you. If not, stop running around like some freakishly obsessed smeagol on crack trying to get your nose into other people's business. And guess what, if they don't tell you, maybe it's because you're lose. A lot of the people that want to shove themselves where they are not wanted, get a secret or nugget of knowledge and can't contain it so they spread it around... causing more people to know what isn't their damn business. How bored are you with your life that you have to, not so subtly, budge yourself into someone else's for entertainment purposes. You wonder why people don't tell you things? Look at yourself. Some people have knowledge that is important to them, it's not important to you outside of curiosity, so lay off. It means something to them. Respect that.

Another point that falls into here. This bugs the happiness right out of me. Stop making other peoples fights and qualms your fights and qualms. Because guess what, they are not your fights and qualms. You have no clue what's really going on, I guarantee it. If there is an issue between two people, it's between them, it has nothing to do with you beyond you being a shoulder to whichever person, or both, you happen to be friends with. Sally could be mad at Sara and said something mean to her so now you ride in calling Sally a bitch and other names like you are morally perfect because you don't know, or care to know, that Sally could have just been going through a very hard time in her life, like a death or something, and maybe Sara provoked it just a tiny bit. You. Don't. Know. Shit. This always works in Sara's favor by the way, not to bash poor hypothetical Sara but it is very easy for her to get a 'Woes you, you're perfect, she's a bitch!' support following by just telling the basics of the tale. Manipulative? Possibly, but some people really thrive on the need to be comforted and praised. Why? I don't have a bloody clue. I am going to go with self esteem issues though. Now, I know I am at fault of doing this kind of thing here and there. Note that I often admit that. Sometimes I am just so angry and hurt and tell the bad parts because I want the comfort. However, there are always multiple parts to every situation. Sometimes people just make mistakes or do bad things and that is the part we focus on because it hurt us. By 'us' I mean the person they did that to, not the friend, mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle or store clerk that hears one side of the story. When I tell my friends about something someone did, I don't expect them to go attacking that person, I would tell them off if they did, because unless it's something horribly unforgivable, it's not their place to make the mess bigger for me by trying to save the day. I'm a big girl. Sometimes I wish they would in certain cases, but I don't honestly condone that kind of behavior. You want to be a friend, be an ear, but don't be that prick that only pays attention to what they are told and then jumps on a high horse of camaraderie marching into war, seriously, you make it worse, and you easily become the bully and the ass hole in the end. No, the "I was only supporting a friend" excuse is not valid. This is something I am also at fault for, riding in trying to make a friends day better by attacking someone else when I didn't have all the info, and yes, they didn't deserve it, and yes I felt like a but smear after.

Eventually Sally and Sara will be friends and work it out once Sara lets what Sally was going through sink into her conscious, and Sally apologizes for her outburst. Then you realize too what Sally was going through, because now you are allowed that knowledge, and that Sally might be a pretty cool person, and you are now the bad guy. You can support a friend without jumping the guns. Take them out on the town, stay in and watch a movie, go bowling for all I care. As much as you want to trust your friends, they will omit information or lie, anything to not get a negative reflection on them half the time, especially when they are already upset or angry and are just looking for some support. Use your head.

Messages here:

1. Stop caring so much about what John Doe knows that you don't. It's not your business and it's very disrespectful of someone's feelings to just want to know their business that could be seriously affecting them for your own entertainment. Worry about your life.

2. Think for yourself. Don't judge people based on what others are saying. Don't attack people you don't even know. Make your own decisions on a person based on facts that you, yourself, discover from actually taking the time to know them.

3. You never know the whole story, so stop trying to play a lead role, it's not about you.

Dear Bloggers,

Please stop making blogs devoted to your newly popped out child. I know you're excited but no one cares to read six paragraphs about how your baby just burped. Wait until they are old enough to say quirky things.

Sincerely,
I Try To Browse For Blogs To Read And Keep Getting New Mom Blogs In Droves

STFU, Parents. Via Hannibal

In True Thanksgiving Fashion:

What I am thankful for:

I am thankful for my mother who has been my biggest supporter and constant worrier.

I am thankful for my sister who is always there for me even at late hours into early mornings.

I am thankful for my adopted family that have been a constant in my life, believed in me, and let me be myself without judgement.

I am thankful for my friends who have shared their lives, laughter, and tears with me.

I am thankful for Kara's parents, Hannibal's parents, and Suzie Q's mom - For coming out guns-a-blazin' to help me when and where I need it.

I am thankful for my step dad who has made my mother happy and tries his best to be a supporting figure to my sister and I.

I am thankful for Laurie (program director) who believes in me, my abilities, and fights with me to get my ass movin'.

I am thankful for my AAA that has always provided me with friendly service and understanding even when I can't find my AAA card and am sobbing into the phone.

I am thankful for the tow truck guys that have towed my ass sometimes hours and in the dead of night and listened to me ramble on.

I am thankful for my rats that have made my days enjoyable and provided me with companionship.

I am thankful for my laptop that, even in it's older, slower age, is still working.

I am thankful for my car that works on most days and doesn't guzzle gas.

I am thankful for the pepsi company for making Mountain Dew.

I am thankful for the internet and Crimson Moon that gives me a chance to meet and talk with many different people and make new friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My mom received an e-mail she had to read to me. I thought it was rather funny and decided to share it after making her e-mail it to me.

Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?"

Pink... Is Not My Color UPDATE.

I gave it a few. It's growing on me.

I Wrote A Letter Once Upon A Time.

My Child is a 15” Mac Book Pro

In high school, I was labeled the PC killer. I swear it wasn’t my fault, they just couldn’t keep up with me, and for years I was under the impression that there would never be a computer that could. That was until my sophomore year when a teacher of mine brought in his Mac Book Pro. Being curious I asked him if I could use it. To my surprise I could have more than one program running at the same time, and it didn’t freeze! I was determined then that my first laptop would be a Mac, and it was. My parents tried to convince me to buy a PC, but I had my heart set and by my freshman year of college I walked out of my local Apple store with my sleek new Mac Book Pro, a skip in my step, and a wiped out bank account. Actually, it was the first important thing I ever bought myself and in the days that followed it would be nicknamed “The Baby” by my friends and family. The Baby came everywhere with me and any paychecks I received went towards memory cards, cases, cleaner, and cooling fans. In fact, it even had its own small section, with a platform, on my bed and when I went to sleep it went with me. I was very careful and attentive to it. If I thought something was wrong I was at the Apple Store either the same day or the next day having it checked. Unfortunately my happiness was not to last. Within my junior year of college my Mac and I experienced our first kernel panic. I brought it to the Mac store and after two weeks and over three-hundred dollars I had a new hard-drive and all seemed well, until recently. For the second time my hard-drive has crashed, but this time I can’t afford to fix it which I believe brought me very close to heart failure. I love Macs. I think they perform the best, are easy to use, and since I am a visual communications major, Macs are basically the tools of my trade. However, I may need to leave the ranks of the Mac users. I can’t afford to keep having The Baby repaired and I am nowhere near being able to afford a new one. I may have to become a PC user once again. So if you hear about a large chain of PC deaths, it’s probably me. Hi, my name is Amanda Davis and I may be a former Mac user.

I wrote this letter once to the Mac people after my second hard drive crash. I got a letter back stating that they couldn't find my account. Well duh, I have no money to resume my warranty. You sucked it all. So I will give you this simple note built on a mac:

Now you give me a new Macbook Pro and I'll pay you back once I use it to become successful. Kapeesh?

Pink... Is Not My Color.

Pink is not my color. I do not like it. It has never been a color I wake up in the morning and think I don't have enough of, or think will look perfect with my converse shoes. I tolerate pink. Occasionally I even think it's nice in soft proportions on flowers, but my clothes or on me? Not so much. So imagine my unhappiness when I went to dye my hair a red color, after much work with bleach and a highlighting cap, to wash it out and discover... I have pink tinted hair. Yes sir. my hair is a variation of bright ass pink and soft pink happy girly wonder. The kicker is, everyone thinks it looks good. Even better: it's Thanksgiving in a day or so. I have two options available to me here: 1. Fix it with bleach, or 2. Leave it and give my parents a coronary. To stay pink or to become blonde... Choices!

I look like a cranberry.

...

Yeah, I'mma go blonde.

Letterpress Is My New Favorite.

If anyone ever has the misfortune of being stuck with me forever, I'd so get invitations like these:

MY FAVORITE ONE! It would be the male/female version though. via Bella Figura

SECOND FAV! via Price of Design

Darn You Peace.

A friend of mine inspired me to go through my blog and get to fixing things. I'm in class, and desire food, so I will fix the navbar later, at least it's no longer the default font crap. Yes I was that lazy, so lazy I didn't want to type a simple <.img. src.="..."/.>(minus the periods obviously). But expect changes again since now I want to do my sidebar too. Crap. ;p

It's Just Awesomely Cute.

Sam Kinison. Now. On The TV!

So, anyone in the New York area that has Comedy Central, there is currently a tribute to the wonderfully in-your-face stand-up comedian Sam Kinison at this very moment. Those of you who are missing it, here is a taste of what you are missing:

1953-1992

Desensitize.

"It's desensitizing. If I looking at it long enough, it wont hurt me as much. It wont burn or make my chest feel as though it's caving in. It will still bleed, but I wont have to feel anything but the annoying tickling feeling blood makes when it runs down my arm."

Via Unknown

Fall Into A Lifelong Mutual Weirdness.

I like how this is put far better than any other love story.

I Think This Was The First Signs Of A Hair Intervention:

Kara: So I'm wondering what to get you for Christmas/graduation.

Me: 324 dollars

Kara: That's.....a very exact amount....I'm guessing your car?

Me: No, hair extensions.

Kara: I'm not giving you money to add to your hair obsession.

Me: But it's what makes me happy. Why don't you want to make me happy?!

Kara: I do....just with things that you'll get more use out of and will last longer.

Me: They do last! A long time. They clip in.

Kara: Okay, let me rephrase.....something less Jersey Shore.

Me: Don't make this into 'The Situation'.

Kara: Whatever the fuck that means

Me: Sadly, that is a Jersey Shore reference. I cried while typing that.

My Poor Car, And Body, And Life... Emo What?!

Lots and lots of stress! Not too long from now I will be graduating and there are lots of things to do. Recently, while in my parents driveway my car tire decided it wanted to move in the opposite direction to my car. So, I had to be towed an hour and a half back to college. Luckily it wasn't boring. I have only had to call AAA twice and each time was a bonding experience with a tow guy. This one told me I need to work with animals and that people like me are rare. Poor guy had to listen to me talk his ear off about animals, and my dreams for the future. Unfortunately this means I wont be able to make it to my internship. This means working on a lot of work this week from the confines of my room. Manda is going to be a bed person. But I got a six pack of dew (will last me two days tops).

I Am Peter Pan.

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!"

Via J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

Block Idiocy Option!

You know how the internet is getting so out of hand lately? Everyone is on it now. No, seriously, everyone, even babies in diapers. They can't read it or understand it, but they can look at the pictures! Yes, you are correct, I am exaggerating, babies is my euphemism for your idiot children. Parents will get into a tiff about video game content (I wont even go there right now), and television content, but you'll let your ten year old use the world wide web like they can't get into trouble there. Heres the facts. Your kids, although I am sure they are saints, don't know what they are doing. They are gullible and will say or do things on the internet that they don't realize could be harmful for them and even you. They do not know the effects of getting online and posting or whatever, they are too young to be on and make good decision. 'But Manda, it's the predators out there! They are at fault!' No. You are. If your kid wasn't running an unsupervised muck on the internet there would be less of a chance that they could be taken advantage of or bullied. Given, predators exist and they suck and all, but they can't get at your kids if you acted like a parent and maybe set some damn restrictions and boundaries, or even sit down and have a talk with them about the dangers of the internet, and oh, I don't know, fucking strangers in general. Look at Jessica Leonhardt, also known as Jessi Slaughter. And eleven year old girl that decided getting on the internet and acting like an angry idiot on youtube of all places was a good idea. She got harassed. Then her dad gets on like so much more angry dumb idiot and starts yelling about the cyber police and junk like everyone on the internet is the bad guy and he isn't a dumb shit that let the eleven year old onto the internet in the first place! Personally, one of my favorite comments her dad made on the news about his angry video debut was: "I was just trying to support my daughter." Support her, yeah, support her into mental instability by one, allowing her online to make these videos and then get on acting like a moron and just fueling the problem. Notice the no regard for what his daughter is wearing... or that she is on the internet being tard. The dad's an idiot... we know why she is...

Here's a clue: be a parent. Sure, you can't control everything your kid does, but you could at least put forth the damn effort. The world isn't going to change and suddenly become a safe place so you can spend more time sitting in front of the television or running around in clothes trying to recapture your youth instead of raising those kids you thought you were responsible enough to pop out.

Also, I don't want to be meeting your damn kids on my online games and chats. Why? Because, like I stated, they can be real idiots. Instead of having a conversation they swear at you, yell at you, and tell information they really shouldn't while trying to act all grown up and experienced. Not to mention you should probably make them take a few more english classes, because their spelling and grammar is terrible. And by terrible I mean often times I think your kids just had a seizure on the keyboard and should probably call 911. I think we need a block idiocy option so I don't have to have a brain cell decrease every time I log on.

This is just my example here, this could be your kids. This could. This could be how they act online. You are giving them free rein on the internet, so how the fuck would you know? Because they are so grown up and responsible? You believe your kids are saints and you've lost them already. You know whose fault it is that your kids screw up? Yours. Take the computer away and let your kids go outside and play a sport, or read a damn book. Your kids could be smart, successful, and safe if you'd just be a parent and actually give a shit. It's 12:58am, do you know where your kids are?

Jessi Slaughter

More JPMetz

Skills!

I got bored and decided I wanted to do makeup and airbrushing in photoshop. This is my first time doing it. Behold first time results! Something to work on and get good in.

Why So Serious?

"So raise you glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways... We will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty, dirty little freaks."

Call Me Detective.

So I'm listening to Only Girl In The World by Rihanna, yes I like that song and it's message and jazz. Anyway when she sings 'only girl in the world' the second time in the chorus, it sounds like Justin Bieber. Check that shit out.

JPMetz, I love you.

"Stupidly stupefy your eyes with pink eyeshadow and false hope."

Big Love Comes In Small Packages.

I have gotten into the habit of taking Soren to my class every now and then. He is the most social one of the group so I figured he'd handle it better than the others. Well, I took him to class today, and of course everyone wanted to see him, touch him, or hold him. I knew he was nervous but he wasn't being too much of a fusser. Until one of the students suggested putting him on the table. I didn't much want to because he's not done training yet so if he ran off I'd have to catch him rather than him come to me. But there wasn't very many places to go, so I set him down. I didn't have to worry. The minute he was on the table he tried to climb up my pants. I tried to leave the table, he tried to literally jump off after me. I sat down, he crawled onto my lap and that's were he stayed. You'll never understand how much that meant to me. I know my rats love me in their own little ratty way because I provide for them. But I didn't know they trusted me so much. That I really was a safe place for them. I really can't express how touched I felt to watch Soren reach out to me. I think I could have cried. That was it. They're my boys.

Oh, and yeah, the picture up there is my little Soren.

Rockabye.

Always has been, still is, and always will be one of my favorite songs:

"Everything's gonna be alright, rockaby. Everything's gonna be alright..."

Shawn Mullins

Uh, Nothing Has Been Up There Since My Finger.

So my rat Eros decided it was appropriate to stick his nose UP my nose... Now I am eating their carrots. That's what they get.

You thought this was going to be a perverted entry, didn't you? Sicko.

Sometimes That's All You Need.

Recently I got an internship for graphic design, at a pretty good company(I aint tellin'). I was really nervous since I am technically a small town girl and this place is legit, meaning intimidating. But this school year has already been pretty eventful. I have decided that I absolutely love what I do. I knew I loved it, I mean, it's something I am good at and work at, but I love it so much that I was in that company and even though I was nervous and overwhelmed I felt like I should be there. I just knew for absolute certainty that this is what I want to do. And my program director at college told me she wasn't surprised. She said she knew I'd do a good job and wouldn't let her down and that that was were I should be. Which made me extremely giddy happy. It's good when people believe in you, it makes you want to live up to it.

My Sister Is Full Of...

My sister has given me some of the best advice I have ever had growing up. Whether she knows it or not the things she has said to me have continued to be a large part of how I go through life and understand it. Some words from my sister:

Don't care what anyone else thinks about you because they don't matter. What matters is what you think of yourself. Because everyone else comes and goes. The only person you have to live with or look at for the rest of your life is yourself. So you better like that person.

Instead of being upset and struggling, make a choice. Make a choice and go with it. Don't care about how it is going to affect so and so. Make a choice.

GAHAHAHAHA!

Not a very creative title of one of my blog posts, but I can't describe it any other way. I recently put this as my facebook status:

Dear Facebook and Myspace,

Is the whole pouty, kiss face thing over with yet? I thought it was and I'd like it to be.

Sincerely,

Are You Serious? I Would Not Kiss That

Suzie Q then sent me this:

It's freakin' catchy okay!

Made my day, while also making me laugh out loud in the middle of class.

Also, 0:14...girl on the right...what the fuck were you thinking with that tan...?

And 0:54? Really? Lets be honest here, I noticed her bikini before I even noticed her face.

Yeah, I Like Laughing For Realsies.

It's friday! Batman came to caz to hang with some friends and stopped by to give me a bag filled with awesome. What is this awesome I speak of? SHIRTS!! Awesome graphic guy shirts! There is Flash, Ghost Busters, Spiderman, Lucky Charms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you name it it's probably in there. Highlight of today. Then he showed me this:

Go Away

It's a website by a graphic design artist with, shall I say, the greatest amount of intelligent, cynical sarcasm. You'll have to visit it yourself to understand it. Basically, it's Batman, if he was older with a kid.

It's These Things That I Appreciate.

Me: I should get a sex change.

Batman: Do it. Donate your boobs to science or to playboy. Both would get you top dollar.

Me: True. I think I'd make a great dude.

Batman: You don't have enough penis. One day perhaps you can be a real boy.

Me: REALLY BLUE FAIRY?!

Batman: No. You're fucked. You're a goddamn puppet you wanker. Deal with it.

Batman(taking place later after he read this): I'd make a terrible fairy godmother.

Dear Custodians,

So I'm trying to sleep when the custodians come to clean the bathroom of our suite. Which is an awesome service I'm not gonna lie. But they are not quiet about it. They come in and instantly I hear one of the ladies complaining that there is water on the floor from the shower. I'll admit that's my bad. The shower curtain from last year I put up doesn't cover this shower like it did the last one. So water gets on the floor. Not a lot, but enough. I haven't gotten around to changing it back yet. Now I'll tell you what they do when cleaning: they clean the sink area, shower, toilet, and MOP THE FLOOR. That's in caps 'cause I wanted that emphasized, they mop the floor. So here is the custodian lady complaining loudly about the little water on the floor and stuff about us that I chose to ignore. Look, your job, not the greatest job in the world, I know that. I've DONE your job. Yeah, that's right, I've worked in a school being a custodian. Once you've had to clean up the green colored feces of a preschool kid that managed to get EVERYWHERE but the toilet, you wont give two shits about some water on a floor you are going to be mopping anyway.

That said, my roomie made a statement that just made me laugh:

"I'm going to shower with the curtain open. Don't think I wont!"

I'd Rather...

I'd rather be out dancing in the rain right now than listening to it while studying.

It's Not About The Music: The Later Rant.

I know. I've been down this subject. I have probably beat it like a dead horse. And ya know, I am probably way behind the times when it comes to the whole Charlotte Church decides to objectify herself thing. But I'm really confused with this one. That girl can bloody well sing. Like actually sing. Opera. That's an amazing talent all on it's own. Why does she have to sing pop music with her boobs jiggling out and looking sexy? Why is that needed? And why, oh why, do we as a society find it acceptable? See, I know I rant a lot about quite a few things, but it's not always the fault of those I am ranting about. You know where it went wrong? Us. Us as a society. If we didn't find it acceptable. If sex didn't make us buy more into the entertainment, the need to use sex as a selling strategy wouldn't be necessary. But it is. Sex sells. I mean, I'm perverted. I live on a lower level of the gutter, but that doesn't mean I want to see it everywhere. I do in fact find it very sad that todays role models are people from Jersey Shore and women that run around in skimpy outfits talking like they never picked up a damn book in their lives. And no, by the way, women using what sexual power they have to get ahead is not a good message. That's not a positive outlook on the female figure at all. That we need to use our sex appeal to be successful. I'd be damn insulted if that was the only way people thought I could succeed in life. Because it's not. But we let that message exist, we even help it. I hope that when your daughters are walking around in spandex with things like "juicy" written on there ass and a thong hanging out, while knowing more about sexual positions at the age of 13 than you do, well, I hope you're very proud.

Pet Peeve #8

Hookay, so why don't you fix that? I don't like guilt. Thanks.

There are a lot of people that do this. And yes everyone notices and a good portion of the time it makes them feel like crap. What am I talking about? Isolating yourself at group activities. Okay, this is understandable for you very shy people or even just anyone when they are in a new group or environment. Everyone feels uncomfortable sometimes, but no, I am not talking about that. I am talking about isolating yourself in a group of friends or people you called friends. The act itself isn't annoying or upsetting, it's those that a)bitch about it and b)act miserable or make it awkward. Here's what I am talking about. You are with a group of friends or at least people you've known pretty well. Everyone is laughing and talking about random things and events and there is that one person who just sits there and makes everyone else feel bad because you aren't babying them by making sure they are included since for some reason or another they don't want to just bust in with their own random drivel. Or you are with a few friends and you are all hanging out and you pull your teeth just to include one person at the risk of your own good time and they can't seem to find anything not miserable to say. I understand bad days, bad times in general, and the need to be absolutely miserable. I really do. But I usually do my best to suck it up and not ruin people's nights on a mass scale. Why do I have to feel guilty because you want to sit there and be awkward and miserable? Why is that my fault? You're an adult, you can contribute or start a conversation, or here's an idea: say "I feel awkward," "I don't know what to say," or "I feel left out." If they are your friends I am sure they will understand and try to help or find common ground. It's better than you sitting there acting like the giant victim of a fixable situation. No one is a mind reader, no one can fix what's wrong in the flow if you don't tell them anything. Who wants to approach miserable and awkward?

There is also one other annoyance in the mix that goes with this. Those friends that you invite somewhere and they say 'no'. But it's not just 'no'. It a miserable, upset, and angry 'no'. Why is this annoying? Because here you are trying to have fun and now they are going to realize that they were just an ass and start insisting that you go anyway. So you go. And you have a lot less fun because now you feel like crap because you can picture your friend alone and miserable and you're a good friend so you worry. There goes your night too. Oh joy. Why is it someone else's job to chase after you and your bad day? We be adults. You have a problem? How 'bout you say so or suck it up?

Now, I get that I do these things too. I do. I'll admit it. But I try not to make other people feel like crap because I do, in fact, recognize that it's probably me.

Well, Aint That Nifty!

Dear Evolution,

You're kidding right?

Sincerely,

The Platypus

Found here -> Dear Blank Please Blank

Dear Drunks At 2AM.

I know you consume alcohol because your young and on your own at a college. Mommy and daddy aren't there to watch your every move or tell you what to do. But here's the thing. College is also about preparing you for the real world to come. And I wasn't kidding, your lack of concern for the future worries me. Notice I didn't say "your" future. No, the future of mankind rests with you. You'll inherit it and then again pass it on. Are you at all aware of the power you posses? Of the differences you can make? That you have a responsibility to those who will come after you? I'm not saying don't have fun. But every day of the week watching you fall in the street and screaming at the top of your lungs is excessive and no longer excusable. You are living on campus. Lots of other people have to live with you and in the same building as you. In the real world your neighbors would call the cops on your stupid inconsiderate ass. So don't be surprised when security shows up. I probably called them. You'll thank me some day. That said. I am tired and the screen in my window that looks down on you is not suicide protected. Meaning it opens. Meaning eventually I will find it a good idea to throw something resembling fecal matter at you. Have a nice day. And yes, I totally saw that.

I Miss Writing And Crying And Dreaming.

So lets run away. Lets pull together the money we have. I have a full tank of gas. Lets drive until our eyes are bloodshot and the lines get fuzzy. Where ever we are, we'll sit and stare up at the stars and talk like it's the last talk we'll ever have. And be lonely and unhappy together. You'll never love me, and that's okay because I've decided to never love again and we'll both be messed up. We'll never be okay, and that's okay.

Dear Manga, You Ruined My Night.

Wild Cats

It's okay little lion. We understand.

Because I Play Lame Online Games Where People Show Me These Things.

Yeah, I'm A Genius.

So, You Kinda Made My Day, Because You Get Me.

I was having a conversation via messaging with a group of friends of mine dubbed The Posse. We have been friends for years now and known each other since middle school. The core members have never changed and they will continue to be my important friends for the rest of my life. One of the things I enjoy most is this: They listen to what I have to say. They accept the fact that I am an out there individual that has some weird mental quirks, but they don't treat me like the idiot either. I tend to play the idiot because the people I care about need to laugh, but somewhere along the line they forget I actually do have important things to say about the world and society. That I do indeed have substance in my views and I'm not actually just talking out my ass. The Posse has also read some of my longer rants on here because they care about my views and like to talk about them. Hannibal, she was one that said a rant of mine was like poetry to her and then we talked about it in depth. Anyway, this made my day:

Me: "We had a somewhat similar discussion in my Protest and Propaganda class about kids having kids and I couldn't resist forming a conversation about how the education has decreased. That the smart people are smart enough not to have kids until they are in a good place where as dumb people are popping them out like candy. And it will only continue to get worse because todays parents are already so young. They are not responsible enough to raise kids because they are still in the mentality that they want to be different from their parents, a.k.a. they want to be their kids friends and let them run around because they themselves hate being disciplined by their parents. They are still too young to process that the boundaries placed on them are beneficial to their development. So the cycle will just continue because whether they grow up and become functional members of society they were still raised a certain way and will most likely spread that to their kids. Because they don't know the difference."

Hannibal: "...you are just so damn smart and articulate. We need to get you a syndicated TV show where you can just rant for an hour or two...I find there is very little you say that isn't something of real substance, especially on important topics."

Advice From Me To You.

The best way to absolutely know what you should do, or where you should be, is to do all the wrong things all the wrong ways first.

My Life Is Merely Quotes By Someone Else. But I Know The Feeling.

"I looked up at him, not knowing how to tell him that he'd never... made those kinds of offers to me. Not knowing how to explain that the street of friendship runs two ways. I had never felt free to come to him with my own problems. Had, honestly thought that I could bear up under whatever the hell came my way. And I had... as long as I'd had [him] to care for. As long as all my attention had been expended on defending him and watching over him. It wasn't until that had gotten ripped out from under me that I had discovered how lost I was."

Via Being There: A Gundam Wing fanfic

Survive? Let's Do Better.

You're missing the point. It's more than just existing. More than just surviving everything life throws at you. You need a reason to survive, to keep moving, keep going, and keep laughing. If you are only just surviving, then you may have already lost.

I Miss Plenty.

Self Image. And Real Image. And It Makes No Fucking Difference.

I'm going to get a bit serious here. Probably more than you'd like me too, and more than I want to. But these things have been bothering me. Not that my rants and things aren't in anyway serious, but there will be no joking rage. Just simple ramblings from a girl that shouldn't be aloud to ramble.

I want to be thin. Not just thin, but defined thin. I've always had issues with looking in the mirror and liking what I see. Whether it's because I know the type of person I am or just because of how I look. It developed itself into an eating disorder. I get upset and jealous when it comes to a lot of my friends. Even the ones that are bigger than me I think look better. I'm not saying this for pity or anything. I'm just saying it.

Everyone wants to change something about themselves, both in and out. Whether you want to be more outgoing, less angry, have whiter teeth, be defined, be thinner. There is always that something, when you think about yourself, that makes you unhappy. And it doesn't matter what others say, how many times they tell you otherwise or that they love that part of you. Deep back in your mind is the nagging thought that life might get better if this or that were different. In the end it all comes down to you being happy with you. No one can change it. For some reason all the good things about us don't measure against those little things we hate. Remember, whatever the bad parts you're beautiful, even if you can't believe it.

So, here's the deal. My name's Amanda Lynn Davis, I wish I was skinnier. I wish I wasn't so angry and afraid, that my teeth were whiter, that my feet were a little bigger and my hair didn't grow in five minutes after I shave. I hate that my boobs are big and the main focus and jokes of almost everyone.

Christmas, It's Totally Christmas.

I want this shirt so very, very, very much.

Found here -> Shirt

My New Hero.

This wonderful man is my new hero. Why? Because society is getting ridiculous.

Twilight Fans Get Punked - watch more funny videos

It's How You Stay A Good Person...To Yourself.

A rant! Fabulous right? Well this little tid bit is about our wonderful networking site facebook. Less creepy and narcissistic than Twitter, but still special. I don't think it's right that employers or potential employers get to have access to your facebook to spy on you. I think that is a little on the extreme in violation of privacy. Why not just park outside our houses and watch us? I bet if you read the diaries or private musings of already hired people you'd find a reason to fire just about all of them. Private life and work shouldn't interact that much. I could be a giant party goer on the weekends but be a hard as hell worker during the week, how the hell would you know? You don't, you are speculating and now back at square one. I prefer the interview and hire for a trial period method. That way who gives a shit that Johnny so and so hates Marsha from retail or is atheist and made a post about hating his parents, if he can do his job let him freakin' do it then. Besides, just because you spy like a creeper on facebook doesn't mean you know a person. Why? Well, darlings, it's because you still don't know why. Why would Johnny hate Marsha or his parents? Maybe there is a good reason.

But that's not really where I wanted to go here. Where I wanted to go was people and their need to gossip and facebook statuses. Now I know we all get into funks and maybe make a status on facebook we shouldn't directed at someone we happen to also be friends with on facebook. It happens. But if someone posts a status about work or someone where the hell do you get off running around telling everyone including people you shouldn't? Seriously, you like gossip that much? And I really hate the excuse 'well if they didn't want everyone to know, then they shouldn't have put it on facebook'. No. Just no. That's like saying 'If they didn't want me to read their diary, they wouldn't have left it on their bed'. If they didn't want everyone to know they wouldn't put it on a public blog like this. When you put it on facebook you are just telling the people you friended on facebook, you know, unless you really don't care and didn't put privacy settings up, then that really is your bad. When you friend or accept a friend request I think there is a certain level of responsibility you are taking on. Like not spreading shit all over the place and getting people in trouble. And hey, you want to be a giant gossip queen, so be it. But don't go around using that stupid and lame excuse 'they put it on facebook'. I know no one really likes taking responsibility for their actions, but come on. If you can't admit you are doing something wrong, have to make excuses, and lie about it, maybe you shouldn't be doing it.

Facebook is becoming one more place we have to hide parts of ourselves and how we feel. It's ridiculous that people can't just be themselves without getting flack from people who really shouldn't be so concerned about how someone else wants to live their lives.

Life Goal. Not At All Simple.

This is what I always say, when I grow up, I want to be happy. The question is: when do I grow up? Does grown up happen when I reach this goal? Or have I already passed the expiration date?

Because It's The Same.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

Neil Gaiman

Fed Up.

Today's mood is fed the fuck up. I know the majority of my posts are ranty, but by the time I find any time to write a post, I'm ranty. I don't get people. I don't mean that all people are stupid and therefore, me being smart, can't comprehend the sheer amounts of stupidity certain people give off. I mean I don't get people. And here is why: I'm an individual. I'm not better except in my own mind, quite understanding a bit of information coming from a sometimes narcissist, aint it? Okay, so in a few ways I might be better, but in a few ways others are better than me. If you count on that kinda ridiculous scale anyway. It depends on the person, but I'd like to think that there are just some basic, common sense things that people as a society should freakin' be, like understanding and introspective with the mental capacity to view the world through more than a narrow ass scope that shows them at the damn end.

Intermission: I am aware of my horrible run on and incomplete sentences in this post.

Why is it that people want to be the damn victims of society all the time? "No one understands me!", "No one accepts me!"...blah blah blah. I'd be more understanding and sympathetic to this, since everyone thinks that from time to time including me, if it didn't come out of the mouth's of people that can't accept ME for who I am, or someone else for who they are. Thinking you are entitled to anything just because you are you is damn arrogant and immature. Everyone catches shit, everyone gets judged, and yes, everyone judges everyone. I am so sorry you have to work at something and earn it. The day you are so privy as not to have these problems everyone better be privy. You want to be the victim? Then do it the all the way, don't do any of this shit to anyone else. Do you know how much shit I catch from people about how I should give them special treatment, do for them something I don't do for even my closest friends, or maybe how much flack I get for the hair dying or the piercings, and the fact I am not a lover of the phone or typing out long ass messages in a window because I would rather look at a person? Or maybe even how I think in general. Yeah, that has been a wonderful topic of conversation I love to have. Just because I choose not to have certain people in my life after they have hurt or broken my trust, doesn't mean I am a tough, mean, or a massively jaded person, it means I'm not a door matt and that I don't think it's worth the trouble. I am sorry that I keep a select amount of close as hell friends that may not include certain people. But guess what, having a shit ton of friends just means you know a lot of people because it is impossible to really love a large quantity of individuals. I know who my friends are. I know the people I can call up or message and they wont judge me. I think that's what's really important. Knowing the people that wont look at you differently when they find out some of your less flattering features, people that don't want to save you or make you think differently because they think their way of thinking is far better. People that accept it's who you are, and whether they like it or not they don't treat you like crap based on it. Real love and friendship, I think, is the people in your life that see you, all of you, that don't excuse the least desired parts but know them and accept them, that don't view them as bad parts but just parts of you that make you who you are.

Life And The Song.

"Sure, it's good to feel things, and if it hurts, we're doing it to ourselves, or so the saying goes, but there should be a different music here. There should be just one safe place in the world, I mean this world. People get hurt here. People fall down and stay down and I don't like the way the song goes."

Richard Siken

A Brief Intermission.

Some things that I am not entirely sure why they are on DailySquee.com. Minus the first one.

It looks like a ball of chicken...It's a nugget!

The face of WTF.

Just plain WTF?!

I don't know what it is, but it frightens me.

Pet Peeve #6 (kinda a rant)

Okay Queen Shiva, calm the fuck down.

I would really like to know where this privileged attitude people have comes from. So, I was going through the drive through at McDonald's and they had a new girl on window. There was a lot of orders coming in so it was hard to switch her out without problems, besides a lot of managers like to crash course newer employees since they have to get used to the stress, and once you are able to function under the frustrations of rush hour you can function any time. But that doesn't mean you don't get overwhelmed and mess up. Believe it or not food service, cashiers, and many other people who work in jobs you think are mindless and easy have a lot to deal with and a lot they have to know. Anyway, they screwed up my order. The new girl looked crushed and kept apologizing like crazy and so did her manager. When I smiled and said it was okay, I was met with disbelief. And that pissed me off.

Here's the deal. I am newly exposed to working at a gas station. Sounds easy? No, no it's not. You have to know register, this entails knowing all the numbers for the produce and drinks that don't scan, knowing the functions for the food service section, knowing gas functions, kerosene functions, the lottery machine and how that works with the register, knowing all the forms of tobacco and where to find them, knowing what to do for companies that get special deals for working with us, knowing what to do when a co-worker uses their gift card, or when a customer uses a coffee card. All this while making food to go in the food case, timing the food so it's always fresh, stocking the coffee and timing that and the creamer so that's fresh while starting food for lunch, taking out the trash and cleaning up after customers. It is not easy. Then you have rush hour, pissy attitude customers, and people that get miffed when you follow the tobacco and alcohol laws by asking for their IDs because you don't want to get arrested or loose your job. I think you waiting an extra thirty seconds or so for someone to ID you so they don't suffer problems far worse than your lost time is understanding. Yes, they work in the service industry, no they don't get paid enough for you to forget how to be a decent person and act like a giant ass hole. I guarantee you that you have made mistakes many times and even been new at a job.

Here's the thing, no matter what job you have it is all for the sake of money and supporting ones self or family, to treat people that don't have some nice cushy job and office like shit for trying to live in a society that is run on money makes you a snobby stuck up piece of shit. Harsh? Well so are the people that get angry at the worker who can't get angry back or defend themselves because they would loose their jobs or get in big trouble. Does it make you feel big? Because it makes you look like a small minded idiot. Stop treating people like shit when you come in wearing sweatpants and people can smell you from the other side of the store. You're not privileged, you're a spoiled brat throwing a fit over things that are a waste of your energy and everyone else's time.

Pet Peeve #5

I'm bigger, you move.

Today while driving on a street that is prone to having some nice traffic, no real shoulders but a really wide sidewalk, I had to wait for a biker. Yes, wait. See, you can't go around them since there is on coming traffic, and since there is barley a shoulder you can't just keep going. You have to wait. Wait while there is a perfectly good sidewalk they could be on.

It's not just the bikers either. It's more the walkers. If the light is green I'm going. I just sat there through a red light to let other cars and your slow dumb ass walk. Now that that light is green it's my turn to go. Not yours. I have places to be that don't involve catering to your time because you were too busy flirting on the corner like a hooker. You don't want to walk out into traffic because you think everyone should part and wait for you like Moses and the Red Sea. You especially don't want to do it to me. Why? Because I will keep going. No I haven't hit someone, but I have slowed down and clipped them with my car or just pulled out in front of them and scared them. Last time I did it, it was night time, I had a green light, and a group of teenage girls (where are parents these days?) just walked out into the intersection expecting me to stop. No. There screams made up for their stupidity. The bottom line: I am a huge ass car, complete with lights. I am on a street which is for cars. I am where I'm supposed to be and easy to see. You can move your dumb privileged ass out of my way. You don't see me up on your sidewalks.

Questionably important.

If you give grass coffee, would it's growth be stunted? I don't want to mow the lawn, but the grass seems insistent that it should follow in the footsteps of a really tall person.

New Life Goal.

Random Thoughts In General About Nothing And No One In Particular.

Everyone hurts each other. It's part of the human condition to cause pain whether you make a choice or not. In the end, someone gets hurt. Remember, when it's your turn to be hurt, that you have caused hurt in others for reasons that were good for you, just like that person is when they are hurting you. And even the person causing the pain, is themselves pained. Don't you remember?

From Me.

So get to living.

Survive.

Then I Found This.

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Live life. Regret nothing."

Simple.

And today, I did the hard thing.

Mental Quirks: Paranoia

I get paranoid.

Sometimes I think there is someone watching me outside the window. So every time I walk by a window, I stop and stare very intensely out it. That way if there is someone watching me they will think I know they're there, and get freaked out.

I do a bit of a zig zag motion on open back stair cases, that way if there is a killer under the stairs trying to grab my foot or cut my achilles tended, they'll miss.

My beds are against walls, that way I can sleep as close to the wall as possible. This is to insure that if there is someone under the bed they can't grab or cut me unless they come out because none of my limbs will be close enough to get at. And I wont look under the bed because the monster under it might get me first.

Girls & Nerds: The Truth.

I forgot where I found this, but, GAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Closing Time. Open All The Doors And Let You Out Into The World.

I always wonder why the people around me get up in the morning, how they smile and laugh without faking it. How they say sometimes, the things they really mean to say, do the things they want to do. Take the risks they they don't want to just to get to what they do want. Why take those chances. I was never good at the idea of falling, because I was never sure that someone would reach out and stop my fall. Does anyone else feel like that? That they are just falling down, and maybe you don't want to be saved, but you want someone to reach out, grab your hand and delay that fall before you find the ground and you can no longer see out. You want someone to grab out and see right through you, wade through the crap that is your life because your worth something. Because maybe if they think your worth something, you can start to think it to. Or maybe, it's just the act of grabbing you, the act of risking that you may pull them down too. I can't grow wings. But for the first time in a long time I feel like doing something completely crazy, I feel like living instead of existing. I feel. I want to say what I'm thinking and mean what I say, I want to jump.