Hookay, so why don't you fix that? I don't like guilt. Thanks.
There are a lot of people that do this. And yes everyone notices and a good portion of the time it makes them feel like crap. What am I talking about? Isolating yourself at group activities. Okay, this is understandable for you very shy people or even just anyone when they are in a new group or environment. Everyone feels uncomfortable sometimes, but no, I am not talking about that. I am talking about isolating yourself in a group of friends or people you called friends. The act itself isn't annoying or upsetting, it's those that a)bitch about it and b)act miserable or make it awkward. Here's what I am talking about. You are with a group of friends or at least people you've known pretty well. Everyone is laughing and talking about random things and events and there is that one person who just sits there and makes everyone else feel bad because you aren't babying them by making sure they are included since for some reason or another they don't want to just bust in with their own random drivel. Or you are with a few friends and you are all hanging out and you pull your teeth just to include one person at the risk of your own good time and they can't seem to find anything not miserable to say. I understand bad days, bad times in general, and the need to be absolutely miserable. I really do. But I usually do my best to suck it up and not ruin people's nights on a mass scale. Why do I have to feel guilty because you want to sit there and be awkward and miserable? Why is that my fault? You're an adult, you can contribute or start a conversation, or here's an idea: say "I feel awkward," "I don't know what to say," or "I feel left out." If they are your friends I am sure they will understand and try to help or find common ground. It's better than you sitting there acting like the giant victim of a fixable situation. No one is a mind reader, no one can fix what's wrong in the flow if you don't tell them anything. Who wants to approach miserable and awkward?
There is also one other annoyance in the mix that goes with this. Those friends that you invite somewhere and they say 'no'. But it's not just 'no'. It a miserable, upset, and angry 'no'. Why is this annoying? Because here you are trying to have fun and now they are going to realize that they were just an ass and start insisting that you go anyway. So you go. And you have a lot less fun because now you feel like crap because you can picture your friend alone and miserable and you're a good friend so you worry. There goes your night too. Oh joy. Why is it someone else's job to chase after you and your bad day? We be adults. You have a problem? How 'bout you say so or suck it up?
Now, I get that I do these things too. I do. I'll admit it. But I try not to make other people feel like crap because I do, in fact, recognize that it's probably me.
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